Adventures in auto-immunity.

Well, that was messed up.

I reported in to Cumberland house to basically tell them I'm there, and they tell me I have to go get my ID tomorrow morning, pay the insurance, etc. Again, everyone really nice, especially once they realize I'm a foreigner. The lady even remarked that I can take my time with the insurance because I seem to be a "healthy young man". Irony to follow.

So I take a stroll about campus, wanting to look at my college, just get to know the grounds. Last night's downpour left everything pretty cold and actually quite pleasant, so it's nice to be out. Then I get to Queen's park. Suddenly, I'm seing double, literally. My eyes swell up and start running, my vision blurs, and my head spins a little. At the same time I'm having this little fit, a gang of engineering freshmen is herded into the park by a squad of sophomore guides and, here I kid you not, lined up next to an equestarian statue of George the 5th and made to kiss, one by one, the horse's bronze ballsack. All the while hollering like freaks, and being painted lavender. It was like Lord of the Flies vs. every single college flick from the 90ies.

Exiting this surreal scene, I stagger through the park, looking probably more like a pothead than any actual pothead, and I realize that I am lost. There I was. Alone in Toronto. Plenty of cash, no idea where Victoria College was. I didn't even know they hazed people that hard at U of T. So I tried to decipher the college map I got earlier, and started to lurch off, back towards what I think is home.

I tell you now, that was the most undeserved walk of shame I have ever undertaken. With red, puffy eyes, I managed to get lost twice and stagger through about 15 groups of my future fellow students. Paranoia may be a deciding factor here, but I bet they all thought I was stoned. Which would bother me considerably less had I been, at least then it would have been worth it. Luckily, the veil of tears in my eyes blocked all but the most withering stares (Lady, your kids probably would not even have noticed me had you not glared me to a crisp like that) and I finally make it home, to a house filled with giggling freshmen. Man, talk about embarrassing.

So yeah, I sat on the floor of my bed-less room for three hours, watching movies on my laptop and waiting for the swelling to subside. When I finally feel like a human being again, I go out onto the porch to smoke, and meet the guy who lives in the room next to mine. We chat, and I find out that of the 12 inhabitants of the house, only 3 are guys. And to give you an idea of what it's like here, the two girls on my floor are both 17.

I am 9 years their senior.

That actually made me laugh, both inside and out. I'm a red-eyed creep shacking up with a bunch of minors.

Leo Valenta, cheap, but not as cheap as your freshmen.

P.S: OhgodohgodwhathaveIbecome?!